


Never Know

by Yuuya_Azusa_20



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Based on The Fault in Our Stars, Bottom Crypto, Cancer, M/M, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, Top Octane, Updates will be slow as hell forgive, his hair is the hired gun hair, we need more bottom crypto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:48:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23403991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuuya_Azusa_20/pseuds/Yuuya_Azusa_20
Summary: Tae-Joon wasn't anti-social. What was the point of making friends if he was going to die any day now? Better to stay in his room playing videogames.Until his Mom forced him to go to a support group for Sick teengers. Then he met another boy, one who didn't care about dying. Only making the most of it.Then he didn't mind making friends.
Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Octane | Octavio Silva
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	1. Do what you're told

**Author's Note:**

> Finally joined the Cryptane train. Comments are always welcome uwu

Tae-Joon wasn't anti-social. He just didn't see the point of making friends when he was going to die any day now. He didn't like the looks on people faces when they saw his tubes. He didn't like the soft voices they talked in. He didn't like how they changed.

"How long do you have left?"

"You're so brave."

"Are you okay?"

"I didn't think you could handle it."

"Can you keep up?"

"That poor boy."

"Don't stare."

It was easier to just be alone. Less people hurt. He prefered videogames over people. You could make yourself look like anything you wanted it. You could always restart the game. It always had a happy ending. No one asked questions in games. Didn't pity you. Didn't care who you were, just how good you played. No time limits either, unless you played a game like Majora's mask (Tae-Joon was a fan of Twlight Princess, He beat it nine times so far). 

Tae-Joon was content with living the rest of his life with only videogames for company. Less people would get hurt that way. 

He understood in a way he may be depressed. He never went out, played the same games over and over again, didn't talk alot. Always in his room with Reverent, his pet lizard. He was happy.

"You're Depressed." He sighed and turned his chair, staring at his sister. "C'mon Tae, at least open up the blinds!" Mila stormed over to the window anfd pulled up the blinds, Tae-Joon flinched at the bright light.

"I prefer the dark. My window is in the right spot to have a glare on my screen. I can't see what I'm doing." He complianed. Mila only rolled her eyes.

"You sound like a dork. A vampire dork." She smiled at him and he stared back. "It's Breakfest."

Judging by the way she stood, something was up. Something that couldn't wait. So instead of saving, Tae-Joon paused his game. (The last of us if anyone cared.) and stood up, holding onto his desk as he caught his breath. Mila looked concerned but thankfully didn't say anything. She waited until he left his room before following, talking about how Tae-Joon should stop playing those games and be social with her, she gets bored after dinner. He only nodded and basically collasped in his chair. He yawned as Mila sat across from him, now talking about Q, her boyfriend.

He hated this. Being around other people. He hated how Mila always stayed, no matter how hard He tried to push her away. It wasn't fair for her to deal with this, with him. 

Tae-Joon jumped in his seat as he felt a kiss pressed into his hair.

"Good morning." Mystik said softly as she did The same for Mila, who pretended to throw up. She was dressed in a blue blouse and black slacks. Mila was dressed in a pair of red tights, jean shorts, a black shirt and hoodie with her trademark Beanie. Tae-Joon was dressed in shorts and a hoodie and he felt underdressed. 

Mila went back to talking about Q while Mystik fixed up some eggs and toast while Tae-Joon nodded every so often. He knew something was up. He had a talent for knowing when something was up. He couldn't figure what it was yet but he had a feeling he wasn't going to like it.

"Tae?" Mysik asked as she put down food in front of him. He muttered a thank you and started to eat, watching as Mila and her shared a look.

He definitely wouldn't like this.

"My friend Olive asked me about you," Mystik started as he eyed her suspiciously. "She wondered if you ever tried a support group."

"No."

"I knew you would say that," She smiled sadly and held his hand. "But you would be with kids like you, who truly understand what you're going through. You could have friends!"

"Until they-Or I-die." He was being a asshole. He knew it. He didn't want to go through the trouble of making friends, watching them die. He didn't want anyone to go through that with him.

"Tae-"

"I'm sorry I don't want to go to a thing where everyone is going to die before the age of thrity." He felt Mystik squeeze his hand and Mila was looking at her empty plate.

"It would help you." Mystik said softly. He pulled his hand away and looked down at his lap.

All his life, he had been a burden. The medical bills, the doctor visits. Mystik never went out anymore, she was either working or taking care of him. He was a burden. She never was happy anymore. She tried her best to make sure Tae-Joon and Mila felt loved, despite not being their real mother. 

Mila lost her parents at a young age, a car accident. Tae-Joon never knew his parents, they gave him up before he coud even speak. When Tae-Joon was eight and the doctors told him he had a rare Lung Condition, he thought Mystik was going to give him up. No one wants to take care of a sick kid if it wasn't theirs. Instead, she only pulled Tae-Joon on her lap and Mila to her side and said "We're in this together. Family forever."

Mystik was always looking out for them. And even Tae-Joon had to admit, he loved her so much. He was being only being a asshole.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and Mystik smiled, kissing his forehead.

"Don't be sorry, Tae. It's your life." she said as she started to clear off the table.

"I'm going to hang out with Q." Mila said and Mystik nodded.

"Hang out?" she teased and Mila rolled her eyes.

"Yes, hang out."

It's your life. Your life and You're spending it playing those games, pitiying yourself. When was the last time you went to the mall with your friends? Called them up? It's your life.

He took a deep breath and tightened his fists. Mila and Mystik were now talking about how Q should come over for dinner soon. The air was thick andd heavy, no matter how normal it seemed.

"I…" He spoke to softly and neither female heard him. "I'll go." He said louder and they both turned to look at him. Mystik smiled andd Mila rolled her eyes, but she was happy. If he was going to make them sad later, he could make them happy now.

"Are you sure?" He nodded and forced a smile.

How bad could it be?

It was bad. 

He sat in the passenger seat, Dressed in his boots, black skinny jeans, his black shirt and his green and white jacket. Hands shaking as he stared at his oxygen tank between his legs. Tae-Joon wasn't good at being social. He understood code then emotions. He was horrible at making friends. 

"Tae," Mystik rested her hand on his knee. "We can go home." He shook his head. He needed to do this. Not just for Mystik.

"How bad could it be?" He asked and opened the car door. Mystik watched him with a worried look.

"Call me whenever you want." she said. He nodded and closed the door. Mystik cast him one more look before pulling away. His shoulders slumped and he stared at the building.

It was a church. Mystik told him that the group always met in the basement. He hoped there was a ramp or something. Tae-Joon's oxygen tank was a bitch on stairs. Going down and up.

"Hello!" A heavy accent starlted him out of his thoughts and he turned

Two girls stood next to him, hands tightly clasped together. Different as night and day.

One had blond hair and blue eyes, wearing a yellow dress with a jean jacket. She had a scar on her face but Tae-Joon still thought she was cute.

The other was dressed in black and purple, wearing sunglasses. Her joggers tucked into brown boots. Her black hair was in a messy bun. She wasn't smiling.

"Are you new?" The blonde asked. Tae-Joon nodded and felt self consious of his breathing tubes.

"I'm Natalie," The blonde then held up the clasped hands. "This is Renee."

"Tae-Joon." He looked at them. "Dating?" They both nodded.

"You uh make a good couple?" He managed to get out. Natalie giggled and the trio made their way into the church. there was a elevator, thank god. But neither of the girls used it, choosing to take the stairs. Tae-Joon paused and looked at the stairs. Renee looked over her shoulder.

"Coming? Do you need help?" He shook his head and managed to get the damn tank down the stairs without dying.

"Why?" he asked through deep breaths. He hated stairs with a burning passion.

"Why?" Natalie looked confused and then gasped. "I'm sorry Tae-Joon." he waved his haandd at her expression.

"It's fine. I'll get used to it. But why?"

"The elevator is for the last days." Renee said and Tae-Joon nodded, rubbing the back of his neck.

He ended up sitting next to them. He looked around, not alot of kids. He didn't know how to feel about that. The last days. A little morbid for a simple thing. Well, morbid for others but normal for them. Strange.

The ring leader, host, group leader (Tae-Joon didn't know what to call him) was a man named Makoa. He was……big. Tae-Joon didn't mean it in a rude way, he was big. His hair was in a bun and a smile was on his face. He seemed like a good guy to Tae-Joon. "A new one?" Makoa asked. "What's your name brother?" "Park Tae-Joon." Tae-Joon at once felt at ease. He figured Makoa was good at making people feel welcomed. He wished he could do the same, instead just nodded or replied in dry remarks. "Well Welcome Tae-Joon," Tae-Joon said it back, Makoa looked around and sighed. "A couple of us are missing." He said and Tae-Joon froze up. Missing? Were they late or were they……dead? Natalie giggled. "Tavi and Ajay are always late." She said and Tae-Joon relaxed, His fingers aching to press buttons. He still wished he was home, playing Overwatch or Mario. "And Always, We start without them." Makoa said. Tae-Joon hoped he wouldn't have to go first, so instead he looked back Makoa, who could sense he was uncomfable. So instead, He asked Renee to go first. "I'm Renee, Today I'm feeling kinda okay. I have a headache." She sighed and removed her sunglasses. "It's only a month before my surgery." Tae-Joon looked at her and then at his lap. He heard of some people getting cancer in their eyes and then had to remove them to live. What's more sad: losing your vision or never having it in the first place? So they went on. Elliot had blood cancer. He was feeling great. Anita lost her mom to breast cancer. She felt okay despite the fact she was probably going to have it as well. Natalie had brain cancer, she felt happy to be here. It was quiet and Tae-Joon looked up, seeing everyone looking at him. It was his turn. Shit. He really didn't want to go, he had no choice. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak. Then the door banged open and he jumped, turning around. "Sorry we're late." one of the two said. "Tavi here decided to Chug two whole bottles of hot sauce." "I made twenty bucks amigo!" the other said. The first one was a dark skinned girl with pink hair in side buns. She wore a bandana, baggy grey pants, and a blue shirt that showed off her shoulders. She had a pair of headphones around her neck. The second one was a short Mexican boy, he had a mowhawk with streaks of green in it and lots of piercings. In his nose, lip, eyebrows, ears. Tae-Joon suspected he had more, just in places he couldn't see. He wore a grey crop top, a black jacket, and navy jeans.

"Ya wanna introduce yourselves?" Makoa asked and the two of them sat down across from Tae-Joon.

"Nah, he can go first. Just make it quick, amigo." The boy, Tavi said. And Tae-Joon took a breath, ready this time


	2. Don't think about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll go down with this ship. my twitter xyt_ma_err. if anyone wanna follow. anyways have a great read and thanks ffor reading this! (mike i got you for the cryptane. maybe)

"My name is Tae-Joon Park, I'm eighteen. I feel okayish." He rubbed the back of his neck shyly. He never have been good at public speaking. 'I have Thyroid Cancer in my lungs," Tae-Joon pointed at the tubes leading to his nose. "Basically my lungs are shit."

Makoa whinched, whether out of the way Tae-Joon sounded as he said that or how Tae-Joon cussed, He didn't know. But he did make a mental note for later about cussing. He looked over at the boy and girl, waiting for them to start. It was the girl who went first. 

"Ajay Che, I don't have cancer, I just tag along with this idiot." Ajay pointed at the boy, a smirk on her face. 

Tae-Joon liked her already. Not in the romantic way, but he could see himself being friends with her. not to sound lame, But Tae-Joon thought she was cool.

But she wasn't going to die soon. So he decided to avoid her. He'll be somewhat friendly but he won't allow himself to hurt others by being his friend.

Now it was the Boy's turn. He looked utterly bored, like he would rather be anywhere then here. Tae-Joon could relate. He made eye contact with him and looked away quickly. Tae-Joon didn't want to come of as a creep. He was weird but not that weird. "Wassup, I'm Octavio Silva. I am feeling great today amigos!" The boy smiled cheerfully. "This one is for the new guy! You can call me Tavi or Octane." He sat back down, having stood up as he talked.

Did the guy ever stop moving? He was so full of energy, Tae-Joon couldn't relate or understand that. He was the type of person who never was full of energy. Maybe he was depressed or just tired.

As for the name, it was kinda stupid. The octane part. What kinda of nickname was that? He wasen't going to say anything.

"Anything else, brother?" Makoa asked, smiling. Tavi nodded, his hands messing his hair up.

"I have no legs." If Tae-Joon had been drinking any sort of drink, he either would have choked or spat it out in a mess. He did not except Tavi to say that. He just blinked as Tavi shot finger guns at him. Tae-Joon looked away, thinking to himself that Tavi was a little off. 

Natalie giggled and said something, Tae-Joon thought it sounded like French. Then again, it could have been any language, Renee just sighed. Tae-Joon looked at them, a question about to leave his lips but he thought better and remained quiet. The rest of the time was spent more or less goofing off. Elliott and Anita arm wesleling while Natalie flimed, Renee hugging her from behind. Tae-Joon was on his phone, wondering if he should call Mystic. This wasn't his thing, no offense to anyone here. Before he could, someone sat next to him. His eyes flicked up and back down at his phone. It was the boy, Tavi. Tae-Joon didn't know how to feel about that. He supposed it was okay, as long as he didn't invade his space. But Tae-Joon knew that Tavi would most likely do it, he seemed to be the type to do so. "What are you, man?" Tae-Joon looked up with a confused look. Tavi had turned the chair around and had his arms resting on the backrest. "What?" "Korean or Japanese?" Oh. "Korean." Octavio nodded, looking bored, his fingers tapping the chair. "Ever been?" Tae-Joon nodded. It had been a good trip. They had spent a week there in Seoul. They went in so many stores and Tae-Joon translated everything to Mila and Mystik. He heard his favorite songs playing constantly. Mila and Mystik tried new food and Tae-Joon felt at home. He was happy, even with his breathing tubes, he felt normal. It had been a good trip. He never have been there after that. Too much money, never enogh time. But he did want to go back. "You gay?" Tae-Joon dropped his phone on the ground, cursing in Korean as he picked it up. "What kind of question is that?" He coldly asked. Tavi shrugged. That question was…… Tae-Joon never felt attraded to either gender. Sure he found boys more attractive then girls, but he liked piete girls. It was weird. So he didn't know how to answer that. So he only looked at him and looked back his phone and closed himself from being social. He was good at that. Tavi walked away, getting bored. Good. After it was over, he ended up waiting for Mystik outside, looking up from his phone when he heard his name. Natalie was standing there, smiling. "You like, yes?" "It seemed cool." He nodded. "What about Octavio?" Tae-Joon raised a eyebrow and shrugged, Her eyes lit up and she nodded. They ended up exchanging numbers and Tae-Joon promised to text her when he got home. Mystic pulled up and Tae-Joon said his goodbye and walked to the car and opened the door, preparing himself for the question. "How was it?" Mystic voice was light, But Tae-Joon could tell she was nervous. "It was…good." he shrugged, getting in and closing the door. "I got someone's phone number." Mystik looked at him. "That's great! I'm glad you're making friends!"

He nodded and looked out the window, wondering what game he should play when he got home. Mystik talked about how Q was coming over dinner tomorrow. If Tae-Joon was honest, he was happy for Mila but he really didn't want to eat dinner with anyone outside his family. Selfish, he knows but it was more comfable.

They pulled into the driveway and Tae-Joon saw Mila and Q on the steps, waiting. Mila was laughing at something Q had said. He got out and Mila waved her hand at him. He waved his hand back, Turning to help Mystik with the bags full of food and other things. Mystik allowed him to carry two bags, not wanting him to need more air (Thanks you stupid lungs). He hated that but knew better to complain.

Tae-Joon walked inside and put the bags on the table and watched with Envy as he Q picked up most of the bags. Tae-Joon was no mean out of weight. He had muscles but he was a bit underweight. Q had the perfect body and everyone knew it. Hell, If Q had to live with breathing tubes, Tae-Joon was sure girls would be all over him.

He sighed and decided to go to his room. He wasn't in the mood to socialize right now, that support group thing had tired him out. He knew Mystik wouldn't mind.

Reverent was glaring at him as he shut the door. Tae-Joon wasn't really sure lizards could glare but Reverent did.

"Don't glare at me." He scolded as he fed the lizard, who then bite him. Tae-Joon was used to this-Reverent was a dick. Even Mystik agreed. Tae-Joon watched him eat.

He really should have given him up but Tae-Joon had a soft spot for that asshole. And he hoped that Reverent had a spot for him in his heart. Unlikely but a boy can hope.

All of a sudden his phone made a noise (And Tae-Joon was willing to admint his ringtone was Cherry Bomb by Nct, it was a good song) and he rose a eyebrow. He laid back on his bed, looking at it.

Unknown Number: Wasup!

Tae-Joon frowned. He was sure this wasn't Natalie, she was to polite to say wasup

Unknown Number: Hello?

Me: Who are you and why do you have my number?

Almost at once came a reply.

Unknown Number: It's me, Tavi! Duh!

Tae-Joon covered his eyes and groaned, setting aside a note to question Natalie later.

Unknown Number: Your'e so slow at texting back. Hurry up!

Me: Why are you texting me?

Unknown Number: You never answered my question amigo!

Me: No comment, stop texting me

Tavi: no way amigo! Answer it quick!

Me: I like both, now leave me alone.

Tavi: Ttyl amigo ;)

Tae-Joon groaned and threw his phone on the dresser, lying on his side and stared at the wall.

What did he do to deserve being bugged by Octavio? 

He soon fell asleep, ready for death to help him out here.

When he woke up he saw he had alot of texts. Most of them were from Tavi (The earliest ones were at 11 pm). Did the guy ever sleep but a couple were from Natalie and Renee, so hed sent a quick text to both of them. 

Me: please don't spam me

Tavi: Wasup! You wanna hang out?

Me: No

And then he turned his phone on silent and prepared himself to get up.

He ended up going back to sleep.


End file.
